Friday, December 23, 2005

The Holidays are always blue to me

I know that I am supposed to be feeling all Christmas-y, and I honestly tried. I just don't feel it. All I do feel is blah... I am glad that my son is so young, and I hope that in the years to come we can get better at this whole Christmas thing. My DH has to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and I feel like my heart is going to break. I am going to be alone again on Christmas. My little and I will have nothing special. We will have just another day without daddy. My DH and I have never spent a holiday together - including birthdays. Something always comes up - whether it is him working, or wanting to spend time with someone else - there is always something that keeps us apart.
I am lonely because he is not with me. Nothing else matters as much when he isn't here. I feel so alone in the world today. Can't I just pretend that there is no holiday this weekend.

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